Enough is not enough

Or enough is enough. Eight is definitely enough but that’s a different story. Everything has a breaking point where enough is enough and then we look back and think, maybe we didn’t do enough to prevent the breaking point. This breaking point came for us last week. Without getting into the details, the proverbial shit hit the fan and flew all over everything nice. And what we were all left with, us, school, doctors, and therapists was “Is enough finally enough and did we do enough”.

What I can tell you from our end is that yes, enough is most definitely enough. Enough of the nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach that prevents me from functioning. Enough of the stress of not knowing when the floor is going to fall out from under me and I’m going to be grasping at air to pull myself back up. Enough not sleeping and not eating and numbing myself with wine and not being able to leave the house or talk to my friends or face my colleagues who work in the same place my daughter attends school. Enough already. There is only so much people can handle before cracking and this egg began forming tiny cracks that broke her shell months ago. So yes, enough is enough here and the kid knows this as do we. It’s time to own the disease that is mental illness and truly fight it and not let it take hold and become who she is and dictate what she does. She’s ready to say enough is enough because she has to because she has no choice anymore.

I can also tell you that the school has admitted that in the past they have not done enough and are ready to do more. Thank god because enough is not always enough especially when enough was not done. If nothing else has come out of this whole shit show it is that we all need to do more for students with mental health issues and social emotional challenges. Gone are the days that students could only get services if they were academically challenged or learning disabled; new is the day when we see how mental illness affects every facet of a student’s life including their ability to learn in school. It is a big thing for a school to look at themselves and know that maybe they didn’t do enough but that they are now going to work like hell to do what is needed. I could look at the past with anger but I don’t, I look at it as a learning curve and can only move forward because enough is not enough until it is enough.

I can definitely tell you that the therapists and doctors are stepping up to. When everything starts to look rosy this is when you do the hard work, not when the patient is falling apart and can’t function. Just because something looks good on the outside, doesn’t mean that it is on the inside. The hard work can be done, needs to be done when the patient is in that good place to practice and talk and learn strategies and show up fully to the sessions. No more saying “Oh she’s doing so well, let’s take a couple of weeks off”. Uh uh, no way, because that is definitely not enough. The times that she’s strong and happy and where the mental illness doesn’t grasp her in its ugly hands is the perfect time to gather her resources, learn her strategies, and get her strength to fight it if and when it does.

So, enough is enough but it’s not enough. I don’t know. You tell me.

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