Lately my life has seemed like a series of scary and painful rides that I’d like to exit from quickly. You know the point in the ride where you just can’t handle one more drop or sharp turn or loop and you start to feel like you’re going to puke if you have to endure one more minute? Is it just me? I mean I love the initial thrill but there comes a point when you cry uncle and want the torture to stop.
It’s like with the snow in Boston right now. First blizzard, kinda exciting, will we lose power, no school, holy cow that’s a lot of snow, did we break a record? Second blizzard, sorta the same but more curse words are embedded along the lines of, that’s a lot of fucking snow. No fucking school again? Shit, we’re gonna lose power. Third storm and we are all, get me the fuck outta dodge right fucking now before I go all shining and shit.
And it’s like that right now in my life. Like one big long Aerosmith roller coaster that just won’t stop. And I’d really like Steven Tyler to close his large mouth and stop screaming in my ear. I mean it’s not enough that earlier this year my one kid fell off a horse while jumping and then my other kid wants to die and then I find out I’m I have sciatica years old and finally my 16 year old tells me she wants to meet with her doctor, for, you know. And just like that I want to pull the emergency brake and climb down off of the 100 foot coaster I’m on with seemingly no end.
And when you’re on the ride that never ends you do things like order chocolate croissants from dunkin donuts accompanied by a full glass of wine.