Life and Little House on the Prairie

Everything in my life goes back to some episode of little house on the prairie. That show was a part of my growing up more than anything else including friends and parents. I often think in certain situations, WWPD (What would pa do). No really. Let me give you some examples:

OH MY GOD we have 7 feet of snow on the ground right now. Remember that little house episode where the Ingalls were snowed in and Pa played the fiddle and they told stories and crafted snow shoes to get to the barn? Good times.

UGGHHH, the flu is going through our house! Remember that little house when the plague hit Walnut Grove and they turned the school/church/town hall into a quarantined triage area and Pa had to go find the medicine?

My kid is being bullied relentlessly by this really mean girl. Remember that little house episode where Nellie lied about being paralyzed and blamed it all on Laura but then Laura totally got her back by pushing her wheelchair down the hill? My kid should watch that episode.

I have epic hot flashes, everything I eat sticks to my body, and I’m like a raging psycho during this peri-menopause shit. Remember that little house episode when Caroline thought she was pregnant and was so happy but then found out she was going through “the change” and was crushed and felt like she lost her femininity right there on the spot. Because our femininity is surely tied into our ability to bleed every month and have lots of babies right?

And this is the episode that is so poignant to me right now. As I sit here sticking my head in the freezer till the hot flash subsides and trying every natural remedy and diet to offset the weight gain and up my meds to deal with the mood changes I want to strangle Caroline Ingalls. Fuck you Caroline. You think Pa was like, oh crap, I’m a certain age and things are changing in my life so I’m less of a man. No, no I don’t think so. So why Caroline, why did you have to stick that thought in my head. That thought that on top of everything else that sucks about menopause, I have to worry about someohow losing my femininity too. So my goal is to make Caroline eat those words and be the most womanly woman I can be in spite of my changing hormones and body. Take that little house. I’m leaving you.

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